


Sunshine

by BluebottleTea



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood Friends, Eden's Gate, F/F, F/M, Kinda, Manipulation, Multi, Polyamory, Pratt and Deputy are good friends, Slow Burn, Soulmates, The Cook and that awful quest, The duncans (mentioned), childhood abuse (mentioned), poly seeds eventually, the seed family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-05-01 14:30:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14522643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluebottleTea/pseuds/BluebottleTea
Summary: All you had wanted to do was uphold the law and meet up with your childhood friend, John Duncan again. Finding your soulmates, fighting a cult - those had never been a part of the equation. But sometimes life throws things at you and there's nothing you can do but roll with the punches.





	1. The  Warrant

“These violent delights have violent ends.” -Shakespeare 

.

You knew this was going to be a bad day when you woke in a cold sweat. The lingering voices of your parent’s disappointment and abuse still lingering in your ears. They’d been dead for over a decade, and still you’d wake hearing them screaming at you. 

The day didn’t get better when you arrived at the office to find all but the dregs of the coffee gone and a US marshall showing up halfway through the day, with a warrant for Joseph Seed. They’d done well enough not to disturb the fragile peace between the county and the cult for the past ten years, and this had ‘going to fuck everything up’ written all over it. But you all get into the helicopter anyways. Five people to hold back the madness this was sure to release. You were pretty damn sure that this was going to end in flames.

Sheriff Whitehorse looks at Marshall Burke, “Sometimes it’s best to leave well enough alone. Are you sure you want to fuck with Joseph Seed?”

“You know what’s going on in there. It’s our job to enforce the law.” Burke replies and pulls out a phone video of the cult.

You watch as Joseph Seed gouges some poor man’s eyes out without mercy. This was a very bad idea. Not even the soft hum of your soulmate marks against your wrist, hidden under leather gloves, was enough to calm you down. The bare fact that your soulmates, who you hadn't even met yet, could feel your emotions through the tenuous bond said enough about the stress and panic wracking your bones. The marks had shown up when you'd turned twenty-three, two years later than the average age most people got theirs. But it was soothing to know that out there were people who would fit perfectly with you. Their cracks meshing with your own. 

“Last chance Marshall.” Sheriff Whitehorse tells Burke as they set down in the helicopter. It’s a little after two in the morning and you’re wondering how the cult still seems so awake. Lights on and abuzz. 

“We’re going in.”

Before you leave the helicopter, Whitehorse grabs the radio one more time. “Dispatch, you still there?”

Nancy’s soft voice responds, “Yes, go ahead Sheriff.”

“If you don’t hear from us in fifteen minutes you call everyone in. Call the National Guard if you have to. Over.”

“Understood. Good luck in there. Over.”

You and Deputy Pratt exchange looks as you all step out and into Eden’s Gate territory. Deputy Hudson stays up front by the Sheriff as you walk in through crowds of believers. 

There are dogs barking and fires light the way. 

“Rookie on me.” Hudson keeps you close as you get closer to the main church doors. When you enter, Hudson stays behind to watch your backs. It’s the only reason you keep going in.

The church is full of followers. And in front, shirtless, stands Joseph Seed with three figures behind him as he preaches. 

The Marshall waits until his speech is finished to issue the arrest warrant. “Joseph Seed. I have a warrant issued for your arrest. On the suspicion of kidnapping with the intent to harm. Now I want you to step forward and keep your hands where I can see ‘em.”

Joseph’s, the Father’s, eyes are dismissive as they slide over the Marshall, the Sheriff, and Pratt, to land on you. They’re too calm. You have no idea how he’s keeping his cool and control over the seething mob you stand besides. 

“There they are. The locusts in our garden. See they have come for me. They’ve come to take me away from you. They’ve come to destroy all that we’ve built.” 

Joseph steps towards your group. You’re almost operation on autopilot; watching everything play out before you, the oppressive atmosphere in the church reminds you too much of your parents. One wrong step here, one imperfection, and there is a good chance you’ll die or go missing like so many others. 

“I knew this moment would come. We have prepared for it. Go, go. God will not let them take me.” The congregation filters out of the church at his words, leaving only the three behind him. Two men, one woman. One of the men looks familiar to you, but the light is too dim to really figure out where you’ve seen his face before. But you know it, the younger man’s face is familiar to you in a way that you cannot place. But now isn’t the time for it. There is too much at stake to become lost in memories.

“Step forward.” The Marshall demands and pulls you from your thoughts. 

“And I saw, behold it was Whitehorse...” Joseph starts, and looks from Whitehorse to you, “and Hell followed with it.” He raises his wrists towards you, ignoring the others. 

“Rookie, cuff that son of a bitch.” Whitehorse orders in your ear and you pull out your cuffs. 

“God will not let you take me.” Joseph informs you as autopilot takes over again and you start to cuff him.  As the cuffs click into place he speaks again “Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away.”

You would if you could. This isn’t your idea, but if what Burke is accusing him of is true then you need to do something to enforce the law you swore to protect and uphold. The mystery of the brown haired man behind Joseph, a smirk on his face, can be solved later. After you’re out of there. After it feels like you can breathe again. 

You begin your walk out of the church, gloved hand on Joseph’s shoulder. Getting out of here is absolutely not going to be as easy as walking in. 


	2. One Way Out

“We are all broken—that’s how the light gets in.” ― Ernest Hemingway

.

When we finally all manage to get into the helicopter, Joseph once again announces, “God will not let you take me.” 

The cultists go wild. As we begin to lift off, I watch as one sacrifices himself to the blades to stop us. Even if God did want us to take Joseph Seed in, his cultist sure as hell don’t. 

When we finally get high enough in the air that the cultist mob below can’t jump into the blades, someone begins to sing. 

“Amazing grace how sweet the sound, to save a wretch like me...”

Looking up from the chaos below, my eyes meet Joseph’s. His voice is soft and captivating. A trap. 

When the helicopter is knocked out of the sky, my breath leaves me and my sight fades to black for a few moments. I can still feel Joseph’s gaze on me. Unwavering. We hit the ground and there’s fire everywhere. I can hear Hudson yelling and the cultists gathering outside. Nancy is panicking on the radio. 

When I reach for it to reassure her, he bats my hand aside and responds himself. I don’t know when his handcuffs came off.

“Yes, Father.” Nancy’s voice rings through and I realize how fully we’ve been trapped, betrayed from within. He’s always been one step ahead of us, and now we know how. 

The cultists grow closer and he leaves the helicopter. My arms reach and try to grab him, missing, and the gap between my glove and sleeve lets my skin brush his. Suddenly the world is full of even more color. The fire is brighter for a second and one of the marks on my wrist  _ burns _ . I’m struck with the sudden realization that this is one of my soulmates. But so is he. The fire flares and he’s outside the helicopter while I’m still stuck in my seatbelt, upside down as the flames grow closer. Hudson’s managed to get her seatbelt off, but all it does is make it easier for the Peggies to grab her. 

“Bring them all back with us. We will show them the path to salvation.” Joseph’s voice is low and commanding outside as the flames grow higher. They jump out at the cultist trying to get back in to gather me. I don’t know where Pratt or Whitehorse are anymore. I think the cult has them.

Finally I manage to get my seatbelt off and fall to the ceiling of the helicopter’s remains. Rolling I start to run out the other side of it, as far away from Eden’s Gate, and its Father, as I can. I can hear him shouting for them to bring me back as I sprint into the woods.

I make my way farther into the woods, stumbling along until I manage to sneak up on one of the cultists out looking for me. It’s easy enough to choke him out and steal his radio and flashlight. I leave him lying in the dirt. 

The radio crackles to life with Marshall Burke’s voice “Is anyone out there? I’m by an old trailer, there’s Peggies everywhere.”

I swear softly. This is a cultist’s radio, and if one has it, then they all heard it. 

“Burke, it’s Rook. They’re monitoring the radios, grab what you can and run. I’ll meet you back in town if able.” I know it’s a long shot that he’ll make it there, now that he’s broadcasted his location to all of them, but at least the woods’ll clear out. I can navigate that well enough to avoid the ones left looking for me.

“Deputy, why don’t you come back,” Joseph’s voice cajoles over the radio. It’s soft and captivating and I want to listen to it. “we’re soulmates. We belong together.”

There’s a sharp laugh I smother before responding. “Soulmates aren’t a promise. They’re a choice, and one I don’t have to listen to right now.” I turn the radio off with a sharp click before I can hear his response. 

It takes a few hours and the early light of dawn is coming over the hills when I get to the road. The first thing I see is a large billboard. One of the people who stood behind Joseph a few hours ago is on it. It’s easy to make out his face now. Big blue eyes and bright smile. 

“No.” my voice wavers and I collapse on to the ground staring at a face I haven’t seen in over a decade. 

A strong jolt of disbelief and anguish throb through my soulmarks. They hum with concern, one much stronger than the others. With time, Joseph’s and my bond will be strong enough for us to communicate through it, but not yet. I’m safe from that, for now. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll use every bit of our bond to his advantage. 

Reaching into my wallet I pull out a worn photo. Prom. I’d gone with by best (only real) friend, John Duncan. It’s well worn and the edges are starting to tear, but I can see John’s face just fine. 

It’s easy to compare the two. The same bright blue eyes, ones that could hold an entire audience in awe. The same bright and easy smile, though the one in my hand is a little brighter, feels a little kinder. Same brown hair, slicked back. John Duncan; the only person who know about my parents’ abuse, the only person I’d trusted for years, the one person I’d help kill with --  is John Seed; younger brother of Joseph Seed, cult leader. 

I’d always wondered where he’d gone, after he left his job as a lawyer. We’d grown apart, he fell deeper into sex and drugs, and I’d gone to college for another degree. I’d always hoped he was okay, but no he’s here. He’s helping a cult take over. He’s a fucking Peggie. And I can’t fight him. Everything in me screams against it. But nothing in my bone will stop me from making him and his new family miserable. 

On one hand, I can’t believe I haven’t noticed that it was him before this. On the other, it’s easy enough to not notice when you’re trying hard to stay out of something. I’m not sure I even know the other Seed siblings’ names. Just that there’s two of them. Probably the other faces that stood behind the Father when we arrested him. 

My blue-eyed friend has a smile that’s gone from meaning comfort and safety to me, to ax murder and torture to those around him. Bright blue eyes that helped me when I cried from what my parents did, and that I wiped tears from after what his did, are full of malice. The apocalypse hides in them now, not salvation. 

“Just say Yes.” His voice floats over on the radio. I reach over and turn it off. My John had called me “Sunshine” and we’d laughed together. I’m not sure I want  to know this new John. I’m not sure I have a choice. My soulmate marks hum. I’d lost him before they’d appeared on my wrist. I wonder if my mark is on him, and I’m starting to become more and more sure his is on me. Just leaves the question of who the others belong to. I’m not willing to think too far into that just yet. 

I gather myself off the ground and start the trek back to town. I need new clothes. Something that doesn’t scream ‘Junior Deputy!’, something that’ll let me find and rescue my friends. 

The key to Staci Pratt’s apartment hangs on my keychain. I know where Joey Hudson and Earl Whitehorse hide their spare house key. Never been to Nancy’s house. Never wanted to. Now I wish I knew where it was, so I could pay her a visit later. But first, I have to get to town without being caught.

Time flies by quickly on the walk, cars are loud enough that they give me enough time to hide, not that are many out this early. The stolen Peggie’s radio is kept on with the volume low so that if they’re plotting anything, I’ll at least have a heads up. My bond with Joseph hums with satisfaction and a low level of longing. Something must have gone well for him tonight, even if I’ve managed to get away. I doubt it’ll be that easy again. 

It’s even easier to get into Pratt’s apartment. None of the Peggies are watching it. Probably figured that since he’s been caught, there’s no reason to. Oh well, their failure is my gain. 

I’ve got a stash of clothes at Pratt’s house in case of emergencies, not that this was what we were thinking of. But it’s lucky, it’s going to be a lot harder to get back to my house. My aunt’s cabin is closer to the Whitetail Mountains than it is to the town. And I’m not sure how to hotwire a car….yet.

It’s nice to get clean, and after I’m dressed in regular clothes I sit down and rub my fingers over my soulmarks. Four little patterns, that hold so much of my heart in them. One found, bond starting to form, but we both know now. Ever since that touch in the helicopter, the start is there. Growing. 

 

**.**

 

Across the county, John Seed sits in the living room of Seed Ranch. His brother is safe and they have three of the people who came to arrest him in captivity. He’s looking forward to getting Joey Hudson to say ‘yes’. But one face bothers him, the Junior Deputy that tried to warn the marshal before escaping. Their face was familiar in a way he couldn't place. The light in the church too low for him to proper pick out and remember where he knew those features from. 

At least the panic from his unmet soulmate has calmed down. Its morphed into a mix of determination and calm. Joseph’s seen their soulmate coming before the Collapse. Met them when the Sheriff came to try and take him. John is a little envious that Joseph got to start his bond with them first, before they escaped. But it’s an understandable envy, not a sinful one. Soulmates are god-given. One day soon he’ll get to meet them, start their bond, hold them close. They might have gotten away this time, but the Seed’s are determined. They’ll find their missing soulmate. There is now no place in Hope County that they can hide for long. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there's going to be more Dep/Seed interaction next chapter. I think it's going well. The childhood reunion is sure going to go well c:


	3. Man's Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to leave town and head out

“The villains were always ugly in books and movies. Necessarily so, it seemed. Because if they were attractive - if their looks matched their charm and their cunning - they wouldn’t only be dangerous. They would be irresistible.” - Nenia Campbell

**.**

I spend the rest of my day in Pratt’s apartment. I hope he’s doing okay. He might be a bit of a douche, but Pratt was one of the first friends I’d made when I’d moved here to Hope County. I had been planning on giving him a key to my cabin when I’d finished moving in. But that’ll have to wait. 

The next morning, I awake to gunshots. There are Peggies  _ everywhere _ outside, as far as I can see peeking through the crack in the of the window curtains. Blackout ones, so nobody outside can see the lights on in, and so Pratt can sleep in on days we’re stuck working night shift. 

They’re taking over the town, slowly but surely taking everyone they can captive. More members for Eden’s Gate. No one’s being subtle now. 

When night falls, you pack a bag and sneak out once more, this time to the police station, also abandoned. There I grab weapons, a map, and a gas mask. The prison on the Hensbane River is a good place to set up a base, fortified and out of easy reach. Just gotta get through the bliss fields that’ve grown like weeds all along the river. It’s Faith Seed’s territory, but I’m not going to make it easy for any of the Seeds to catch me. 

We might be soulmates, but it’s a choice to fulfill the bond. And I haven’t made mine yet. No matter what they’ve decided. 

It’s easier to sneak out of town than it was to sneak into it. The morning is bright as the noon sun starts to rise. There are crickets screaming in the grass, undisturbed by the riot of noise of the cultist takeover. 

It’s on my way to Faith’s territory, I stop by the pumpkin farm to refuel and see how Rae-Rae is doing. 

It’s when I get close I hear the gunshots and Boomer’s sharp barking. I can see Rae-Rae fall. And the Peggies trying to load her boy, her pride and joy, the mascot of the farm, into a crate. My arms shake and I grab the rifle off my back and begin to aim. 

One by one they fall, unsure of where the shots are coming from. There’s not many of them, only five. But they murdered Rae-Rae and her husband. Some of the sweetest people in the county, dead. 

I let Boomer out of his cage and pet his head. “I’m sorry I didn't get here soon buddy. I’m sorry.” And then I get the shovel and get ready to bury Rae-Rae and her husband.

By evening, I’m done. The Peggies can sit out to rot, let carrion eat their bodies. Unconsecrated and forgotten. 

Boomer is laying in the shade by the house, watching me. I’d stopped earlier to feed him. 

“Wanna come with me, buddy? Wanna come mess up some crazy Peggies?”

He stands up and wags his tail before coming over to join me. A good boy, the best boy. 

We begin our tredge out to the Hensbane together. It’s quiet out, finally. Even Peggies get to go home for dinner. The crickets are louder, and the grass around reaches over my knees, hiding Boomer from a casual glance. We’ll have to find somewhere to rest eventually. But not yet. 

The adrenaline is finally rushing out of my veins. And the knowledge that I’ve killed people,  _ again,  _ sinks in. It’s been more than a decade since I’ve killed, and I’m not sure if I’m actually disappointed in myself or not. 

“Do you think I did the right thing, Boomer?” I look down at my new companion.

He looks up at me with a big doggie grin. 

“You’re right, they were bad people. But I’m supposed to uphold the law, murder is generally frowned on. But they did start it.” You shrug at him.

Boomer stops looking at me and runs ahead. There’s moths coming out, and small birds to chase. He seems to be doing well enough.

I can see the bliss flowers blooming in larger, and larger, patches as we move forward towards the prison, and where Faith’s followers wait. There’s not enough bliss to justify the use of the gas mask yet, but I pull it from my backpack and arrange it so, when I do need it, I can grab it easily. 

Wonder if I’ll need one for Boomer. Do they make gas masks for dogs? 

I pull out the map from my back pocket as a sudden gust of wind blows an entire gust of bliss pollen in my face. The world fades. It’s ghostly and white. Almost like fog. 

In front of me is a girl. The one who stood by John in the church. There are bright blue butterflies fluttering around her and bliss flowers in her hair. Her dress is soft white lace and she’s so beautiful. This has to be Faith Seed. 

One of my soulmarks hums with pleasure. I’m sure it’s hers. It feels floaty. 

“Oh! Joseph’s spoken about you, our soulmate! Are you here to walk the path and join me in the Bliss?” She smiles at me. Her voice sounds like silk and sugar and happy times. 

She reaches out to try and grab my hand. I stumble back, stumbling and almost falling. Her smile falls and I remind myself I haven’t done anything wrong. But I want to please her. I want to make her smile again. 

My hand gropes around to my bag, and I feel my gasmask. The knowledge that I’m probably high on bliss hits. As quickly as I can, I pull it off my bag and onto my face. Faith looks at me sadly. 

“Not today.” But I reach my hand out as the image starts to fade and our finger touch, the bond between us snaps into a concrete feeling, just like the one with Joseph. Before she fades completely from my view, she grins again and joy shoots through our bond.  

Unsure if I’ve made a huge mistake or not, Boomer and I continue on towards the prison. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise next chapter will have L O T S more Faith in it. And maybe some other Seeds.


	4. In the Bliss Fields

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meetings with friends and foes, nothing is really going Rook's way.

We are not history yet. We are happening now _. - _ Welcome to Night Vale

.

Boomer and I are following the Hensbane down when the attack comes. At first they look like sleepwalkers. As if they’d left their homes and decided to wander the moon flower fields that pepper the landscape surrounding area. They’re slow and drifting together in a pack, covered in bliss, but then they spot us. 

It’s then that the group turns in unison and attacks. With speed I didn’t expect and rage, hands reach for my face. Grasping and clawing at my gas mask as if it was a personal affront to their god. I’m pinned under three of them as Boomer attacks from the edges. They don’t seem to notice the vicious bite marks from Boomer or injuries from my knife. But they don’t have any interest in him or even me really, only my mask. 

When it breaks, they leave. Job completed. And the bliss seeps in again. So much so that my vision blurs and fades to black. 

When I wake up I’m in the bliss again, but also I’m a giant, white, palm. No sign of Boomer anywhere. It takes me a moment to recognize it as the upturned one on Joseph’s statue. I’m standing, swaying, when Faith appears again. 

“You should join us. Walk the path Deputy, and join me in the bliss.” Her face is angelic as she croons to me, on white wings, out of reach and beckoning me to take those few steps forward. Foreword and off Joseph’s palm. And the worst part is,  _ I want to _ . I want to walk off and join her in the air. She looks so blissful and part of me, the part that believes in soulmate and fate, thinks that it’ll all work out. That she wouldn’t hurt me. 

But the other half of me, the one that remembers my parents’ abuse, even though they were supposed to  _ love and protect _ me, thinks that walking towards her is the stupidest idea. And that’s the side I’m going with. 

Faith frowns as I stay. “Won’t you join me? It’s meant to be. Joseph’s seen it.” Her voice is light as the misty air around us and her wings move to bring her to me. 

“The path to Eden is clear to those who have faith,” she cajoles, “it only takes one step to start your journey. Walk the path and join  _ us.” _

I shake my head and try to stumble back. Her hand on my wrist stops me. 

She sighs again. And then smiles, leans forward to cup her hand on my cheek and kiss me. 

And everything stops for a moment. Then bursts into life. Her lips are soft on mine, and while she doesn’t try to take the kiss further, it feels like she’s touching part of my soul. My knees go weak and I collapse when she steps back. 

“Come on, soulmate, and join us.” And on gossamer wings she floats back and off into the boss filled haze around me. 

.

**Across the valley, Joseph feels something pulse along his bonds with Faith, and the thinnest thread that ties him to their deputy. Faith’s shakes with mirth, pleasure and mischief.**

**‘** **_She’s perfect_ ** **’ the thought she sends him grants him a small smile. Even though the Voice has given him visions of him with all his soulmates, it’s hard to wait. Though it’s not a sin to want them, his destined one, it’s still a trial set for him. It’s not jealousy he feels that Faith got to kiss their deputy first, nor envy, but he wishes he could feel her lips beneath his own soon. But he needs them to come to him, to join them on the path to Eden’s Gate.**

**The deputy’s bond to him is thin, but he can feel the confusion, and a taste of pleasure through it. It is not lust feel that way between soulmates, God’s gift to humanity. And he is glad the deputy feels it.**

.

I don’t know to cope with the desire to kiss Faith again. I’m still trying to take Eden’s Gate down. Their takeover of the county isn’t what I to be a part of. Not even for John. 

Childhood bonds and our parents’ (mine and the Duncans) death will only tie us together for so far. The soulmate bond, if we ever touch and initiate it, I’m willing to bet that it’ll immediately tie us together. Our history is already too tied together for it to be anything else. 

I can’t carve him out of my soul when he’s held the pieces of it for so long. But the other three, those I might. 

The bliss isn’t fading. So I do it. I take those few steps and jump. Falling I hear Faith.

“I will help you follow your purpose, soulmate. I will set you free.”

I close my eyes and brace for impact. There’s no point in responding. 

I don’t feel myself hit the ground, but when I finally open my eyes again, I’m there. At the foot of Joseph’s statue. Surrounded by the bodies of those who jumped and didn’t survive. Shattered bodies all around me. 

As I stand, I hear Faith once more. 

“Do you feel different? Do you feel alive? The first step is always the scariest. But don’t worry, I’ll see you soon.”

I shudder at the ominous implications that holds for me. And there’s Boomer, at the edge of the circle of bodies, whining. 

I step out and over to him. Bending down I ruffle his fur then bury my face in his neck to sob for a moment. 

“It’s going to be okay, buddy. It  _ has  _ to be o-fucking-kay. Promise.” 

He barks at me and when I lift my face, he licks my cheek. I laugh and stand back up. Time to find the prison. 

It’s dark when we finally reach it. And swarming with Peggies. 

On my radio a voice is calling “Hello? Is anyone out there? This is Virgil Minkler at the Hope County Jail… We need help! I repeat: we need help! The Peggies are trying to break down the gate! If anyone’s nearby, please hurry! I don’t know go much longer we can last.”

It’s actually easy to sneak up on the Peggie’s in the dark, even with all the fires burning. And a shot to the head here, a few there, and they start to fall. 

As that begins, I hear Whitehorse for the first time since the fucking mistake that was trying to arrest Joseph Seed. 

“Rook is that you? Thank Christ.” 

And for, what feels like the first time in days, I laugh. It’s good to hear his voice. I can only hope Hudson and Pratt are with him and okay. Don’t much care about that damn Marshall. 

The radio blares again “Let’s get these thugs. Don’t give them an inch!” Whitehorse yells encouragement to what I can only assume is everyone inside the jail shooting. 

The Peggies have figured someone outside the jail is shooting at them. I creep around the tree line and use the burning car up by the jail to pick off one's using others vehicles for cover. 

When it’s all over, the last Peggie felled, the gate opens and I’m let inside the jail. Whitehorse is there to greet me. 

Somehow, he’s managed to keep his hat and sunglasses through all of this. He comes over and pats my shoulder, a grin in his voice. 

“Rook, you really saved our bacon,” he turns to look as some civilians walk by, carrying another between them, “they’ve been throwing themselves at these walls days, just won’t let up. Really kicked open a hornet’s nest—“

“Trucks in the road!” someone screams as another is shot off the wall. 

We bend down by the fallen man, “Dammit, Medic!” Whitehorse shouts back. 

“What can I do?” 

“I need you up on that wall Rook.” 

I do not want to be up there, is the first thought. It’s poorly fortified and I can see multiple trucks coming up. 

But in the guard house, fate smiles. There is a rocket launcher. It’s shooting fish in a barrel getting them in those trucks.

Shooting the fuel truck uses my last rocket, but is really worth it. 

When the barrage of Peggies is over, I follow Whitehorse as he gives orders to everyone inside. A general controlling his troops. 

The final person we approach is a woman, his second in command maybe, she's helping carry a red medic board. 

“Any problems?”

“No. Couple Peggies scaled the wall but we got ‘em .”

As we head in, she gets into a small argument about buttons and being cougars and vulgar language with a voice I recognize from my radio. Virgil Minkler. 

He points out that both he and the sheriff are wearing their buttons and then turns to me, as if to say I am as well, but then asks who I am. 

“This,” Whitehorse’s voice is proud as he puts an arm around my shoulders, “is one of my deputies.” 

I wave. 

The woman, Tracy, gives me a suspicious look. “O thought you said your deputies were captured.”

And there is my information on where Hudson and Pratt are. Fucking hell. 

“Not this one. She’s been giving Eden’s Gate a hell of a time, from what I hear.” 

Tracy doesn’t look impressed. “Well if she’s here, she’d better work. No freeloaders.” And stalks out of the room. 

I look at Whitehorse. 

“It’s true we do need help. Just ask around.” He gives a small smile and goes to follow her. 

Virgil looks at me for a second, then opens the box he’s holding and hands me a small pin with a cougar on it. He follows after them. 

I look at the pin and immediately put it on. I don’t know what makes someone a cougar but I like it. 

I stay in the prison for a day, gathering information and tending to my own injuries. It’s nice to have a shower and safe place to sleep. 

The sleepwalkers that attacked Boomer and me earlier are called ‘Angels’ and are what happens when someone has too much bliss. They fall under Faith’s thrall. Permanently. 

Hudson is stuck with John, and Pratt with Jacob. The Marshall is wandering the bliss fields apparently and Whitehorse thinks we should save him. I’ll help Hudson and Pratt first. They’re definitely more important. 

But I’m worried about the town and my friends, so I get some supplies and head out again. I’ll come back to help as soon as I know they’re okay. The prison is fortified enough for now. 

Boomer is excited to be on our way out again, running ahead to look at things and then running back to me.  I’ll come back around to help Whitehorse and the others, once I’ve gone to see true Ryes. And maybe get Faith’s attention elsewhere. 

I rub the cougar pin Virgil gave me on my way towards Rye and Son’s Aviation. Nick and Kim have always been friends and I should definitely see if I can help them. Especially with how far along Kim’s pregnancy is.  

I know Nick thinks they’re having a son, but Kim isn’t so sure. I’m just hoping that if the baby is a girl, Nick takes my suggestion to rename the field “Ryes in the Skies”. It’s so much better. 

It’s a nice walk, the sun barely setting and tinting the horizon with touches of gold. My radio is on low, to a Peggie station, I want to be the first to know if Joseph or Faith decide to announce our bond. It’s odd that they haven’t, but I’m not going to press my luck. 

At that thought, my bonds with them almost hum. Faith’s is cheerful, she’s very pleased with something. Joseph’s is a calm, focused hum; almost like he’s touching our bond and focusing those emotions towards me. 

I reach back, unsure if it’s going to work, and focus on sending my enjoyment of the sunset back. The bond quivers with joy and I lose focus. There are steps that once taken, you realize you can’t reverse; and I’m almost positive I just made one. 

When I reach the aviation field, Peggies are attacking. Just like everywhere else I go it seems. Boomer and I help Nick fend them off, but not before they steal his plane. 

“Rook ya gotta help me. Kim’s due any second and we need that plane as our ticket out of here. Please help my family.”

I sigh and stare at him, “Nick, of course I’m going to help you. That’s what friends do. Now where would they have taken your plane?”

“Well if I know the cult, they’ve taken it to John Seed’s ranch. It’s got the only other airstrip big enough to land it.” 

Which is just  _ great _ . Just the last place I want to go, with the last person I want to meet. But okay. Let’s do it. 

I take one of the cult trucks, the driver can’t use it anymore anyways, and begin the drive to Seed ranch. “O’John” is playing on the radio and I can’t help but hum along. My bond thrums in tune with the song and I get the feeling Faith and Joseph know what I’m singing. Oh well. 

It’s manor quality. The place is opulent and has two houses. Which is absolutely something John would do. Fancy asshole. 

Now to wait for dark, just to make my job easier. 

Boomer and I sneak past the guards, I really don’t want to confront the cult right now. And finding the plane is actually easier than I thought it’d be. John Seed isn’t home, so at least I don’t have to worry about running into him. 

It’s actually pretty easy to get the plane out and in the air. The guards aren’t sure who’s driving it, so they aren’t trying to shoot me down. And when fans do figure it out, I’m already gone with Boomer riding in the back. 

Nick radios to warn about one of the wings acting up, but when I turn, there’s nothing. John must have fixed it. 

I land and Nick grins at me. Smile stretching across is entire face. 

“You did it, thank you!” He turns to shout towards the house, “Kim, the planes back!” 

“I know, I heard!” She shouts back and I smile. 

“Help me turn it,” Nick looks at me and we push the plane around, “You know for the first time is a long time, it feels like things are finally going my way.” 

I nod at him. 

When we finish turning the plane he looks it over. “I hope those damn Peggies didn’t do anything to her. Planes been in my family three generations. Can you believe that?”

“Yeah.” I decide against telling him what John did. 

He grins again, “my grandpa got it in WWII, though I’ve made a few modifications,” he turns to the house, “Kim you comin’?” 

“Yeah I’m coming!”

He shakes his head smiling as he starts to get in the plane. “Kim?”

“Nick! Peggies are coming!”

“Damn motherfuckers never let up.”

“Guess they must have figured out where the plane went.” I laugh at his dismayed expression. 

“Kim stay inside! I’m better up high, but your a beast on the ground. I hit em high and you hit em low okay?”

“Okay.”

And I go to defend the house from invading forces. 

It’s fun to listen to Nick rant at them over the radio, but my favorite part of the entire fight is Kim, who picked up a gun and shot one of the invaders, shouting “you tell John Seed this is our place.”

When the fights over, Nick lands the plane and we sit on the docks, drinking lemonade Kim brought out. She’s glowing. I’m glad this pregnancy is going well for her. 

“Why didn’t you take Seed Ranch when you got my plane back?”

“Didn’t feel like it. Didn’t want to fight John.”

“Why the hell not, Rook?”

“I got your plane back, what’s it matter Nick?” 

“You could’ve taken care of one of Hope county’s biggest problems and you  _ didn’t feel like it _ ?” Nick turns to look at me. 

“What do you want me to say Nick? I got your plane back, but I can’t  _ kill  _ John Seed for you.”

“Why not, Rook?” Nick glares at me. 

I sigh, “He’s my soulmate, the whole damn family is, Nick. What does that say about me? That my soulmates are religious cult leaders, that they’re murderers and thieves? What does that make  _ me?  _ I can’t kill them because even if the bonds aren’t complete, I can’t repudiate them without losing pieces of my own soul, and to willingly do that isn’t something I’m going to do for anyone else. I’ll help you fuck with them, but I can’t kill them for you, Nick, I just can’t.” By the end of my rant there are tears in my eyes and I can see Kim standing in the door flowering at her husband. My breath is shaky as I stare at him. 

“Well damn it Rook. They sure as hell don’t deserve you.” Nick leans over from where he's sitting on the dock to pat my back. My two bonds hum and I can feel the empty space where the other two are supposed to be. 

“Come on inside you two, dinners ready.” Kim shouts at us as the sun begins to dip below the horizon. 

Inside the Rye family home is a simple meal, pancakes, eggs, and sausage. The first real meal I’ve eaten since this entire debacle started. 

Kim grins at me as I pile my plate high and begin to eat. Nick does the same. She’s already served herself, eggs with syrup and chocolate chip pancakes. 

“Thanks for getting my plane back again, Dep,” Nick pauses to grin at me, “ I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful or nothin’, soulmates are serious business.”

I grin him, it’s not like I go around advertising, and surprisingly, neither do the Seeds. 

“It’s all good.” 

“What my dumb soulmate is  _ trying _ to say is, we’re here for you. No matter what you decide.” Kim reaches over and taps the back of her husband’s head. 

He chuckles and rubs the spot. “Kim’s right. Doesn’t matter who your soulmates are. You’re a good person, Dep.”

I get around responding by shoving pancake in my mouth. It’s not that I disagree, but at the same time, there’s a  _ reason  _ I’m their soulmate. And with two Seeds confirmed, the chance of Jacob and John also being mine grows higher and higher. I’ve stopped even pretending it’s not set in stone. All that’s left is to touch them and confirm what I already know. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long. i moved and had finals. thank you so much to everyone who commented, you really kept me writing and workin on this update and i hope y'all like it. lemme know who you wanna see next chapter, jacob or john? or more of faith and joseph? c:


	5. Whitetail Mountains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with the Cook and meeting Jacob

We must be our own before we can be another’s - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

.

After everyone is done eating, Nick and Kim share a look, communicating silently like only fully bonded soulmates can, before Nick set a hand on my shoulder. 

“We won’t tell anyone about your soulmates, Rook. Not if you don’t want us to.” 

I can feel tears gather in the corners of my eyes and concern twinges in my bonds. 

“Thank you.”

Kim grins at me, “It’s not our place to say, or go dictating soulmates. We’re here for you though, no matter what you decide.”

I can’t stop the smile growing on my face, or the relief that sweeps through my bonds to Joseph and Faith. 

“If you need anything, let me know and I’ll do what I can, okay?” 

Kim smiles back, “Okay.”

.

The nicest thing about spending the night at the Ryes house is the fact they have a nice shower and I don’t have to keep my eye out for Peggies to use it. 

It’s nice to let go. Not worry about anything and relax for just a bit. My grip on my soulbonds loosens, and for the first time since they both formed I can feel them fully and they can feel me. It’s both terrifying and a relief. 

I can feel both of them buzzing in the back of my mind, curious but calm. The threads that tie us together are growing thicker, the more I let them in, but it’s so hard to remember to block them out. Soulmates might be a choice but it’s one that’s rigged towards staying together. 

It’s why I’ve been avoiding the resistance. Joining would be nice, Eden’s Gate isn’t really a good thing, but I’m drawn to them. Eventually I’ll join them; or I’ll gouge them out of my soul, and forcing others to deal with that consequence isn’t what I want to do. 

But with water cascading down my back and my grip on my bonds relaxed, I finally feel at peace. They aren’t pushing at the bond, just letting it exist between us, the call to complete it not strong enough to force us to find one another just yet. 

I wish that it could be like this all the time, calm and relaxing. But they’re hurting people I care about. Causing harm to my home and that’s not something I’m going to let stand. 

When I leave the shower, I use the bathroom mirror to check my tattoo.

It covers a little less than half my back, from right above my hip to a few inches below my shoulder. Three sunflowers in full bloom, with branches and leaves intertwined and a single bud ready to bloom. It’d been designed for me shortly after my parents died and it marked the beginning of my freedom. 

There’s no sign of trauma to it, other than age it’s still as beautiful as the day it was finished. Hints of the scars from the time I ‘fell’ into a glass table show at the edges but with the entire piece, they’re almost invisible. 

I know it could be taken as vanity, but I adore it. Wouldn’t be the worst sin I’ve been accused of. 

As I get ready to head out again, to find Staci, I hope Jacob Seed is treating him better than I’m positive John is treating Joey. 

Staci Pratt might be a bit of a douche, but he’s my partner. My friend. 

.

The hike to the Whitetail Mountains is long. Boomer and I try to stick away from the roads, to easy to be seen and caught in a car. What with all the Peggie road blocks. I’m not ready to see John, might never be, but I can deal with his siblings first. 

I remember when we were little, he’d talk about how one day they’d come for us. 

_ “My brothers are going to come for me. And they’ll take us somewhere better. Somewhere where nobody’ll hurt us anymore.” _

_ “Do you think they’ll take me too?” _

_ “Course! You’re my best friend, and there’s no way Jake’ll leave you behind! And Joseph’s good at plannin’ and Jake’s strong. He’ll keep us safe.” _

_ “That sounds nice, John. I can’t wait to meet them.” _

Course that was years ago. But at least they’d found one another again. And at least, nobody was hurting John anymore. The Baptist of Eden’s Gate. Biggest sadist in Hope County. 

Maybe one day, I’d have the same. No more weight of the ideals of perfection resting on my shoulders. No more worries about not being good enough. One day.  _ One day _ . 

I end up camping on my way out to find Jacob’s Veterans Center. It’s growing late, dusk falling and trees hiding what little is left of the sun. Boomer is very excited, running around me in circles as I set up the tent and build a small fire. I’ll keep in there with me tonight, safe from the bears and mountain lions and wolves I know are roaming. 

Nick and Kim told me a little of what they know of this area before I left. They’re in better contact with the resistance than I am. 

The group out here isn’t associated with the one in town or the Sheriff’s. They take their name from the mountains they hide in, and are a secretive bunch. Determined to oust Jacob. Which at least means I’ll probably have an easier time avoiding them. 

By the time I have the fish I caught earlier prepped, night has fallen. It’s easy enough to cook by the firelight, and Boomer is happy with the food I brought for him from the Rye’s. 

It’s quiet out in the mountains. Only sound around me is the soft chirping of the crickets. Not that they help much. Jacob’s wolves, his Judges, rule these mountains now. Larger than average and stronger too. Another threat to watch for besides Peggies. 

If I’m lucky, both the Peggies and the Whitetail Militia will think I’m a trapper or lone salesman, and leave me alone. But I haven’t been lucky since that damned Marshall walked in with the warrant. So why would it start up now?

It’s easy enough to put out the fire and calm Boomer down enough that he’s willing to climb into the tent to sleep with me. He is the perfect size dog for cuddling. All dog sizes are perfect, but Boomer was soft and warm and the nicest thing about camping out here. I bet Staci will like him. 

I find the Baron Lumber Mill by chance. It looks almost like the Peggies have made it into a makeshift prison, somewhere they can hold all the poor souls they capture. 

And on one hand, I don’t want to get involved, I don’t want them to know where I am. On the other hand, fuck the cult. 

So I head in. There’s a woman in the radio asking for help, asking for help, which is a bonus. 

It’s startlingly easy to sneak in and up the tower in the middle. I kill the sniper there and begin to pick off the rest of the cultists as they try and figure out where this is coming from. Meanwhile the woman from the radio snipes then from around the edges of the camp, moving around so they can’t pick out wheeler she is as my sniping draws them out of hiding. Arrows with red, white, and blue fletching mark each of her kills. Whoever this is, she’s good. 

Eventually the last of them falls and by my side, Boomer barks and licks my elbow. 

My bond hums with the satisfaction I feel at a job well done. The other two can’t tell what I’ve done, so the bond reverberates back their pleasure that I’m sharing with them.

It’s fun to destroy the “The Weak Have Their Purpose” sign and free the prisoners from their cages. Resistance members flood in, non I know as Whitetails, but others from Faith and John’s regions. 

Finally I make my way to the other sniper. There’s a pretty awesome looking bow on her back. 

“Where’d the hell you come from?”

I shrug and she continues. A large scar crosses her face I wonder what she killed to get it. 

“Thanks for bustin’ me out. Name’s Jess. If you’re out here pickin’ fights with the cult, then I’m guessin’ you already know my Uncle Dutch… look I don’t got a lot of time to waste. I’m going to get right to the point. I was in the trail of one of Jacob’s zealots. Goes by the name The Cook. Yeah, don’t sound so scary, but believe me… he’s one twisted fuck. Almost tracked him down, but a Peggie patrol got the drop on me. I need your help. We can’t let his trail go cold… this guy’s butched a lot of innocent folk around here. Can’t let him get away with it any longer. Gotta move. Wasted too much time already. Follow me.” And without waiting for my response, she turns and leaves the mill behind. Walking out into the woods. 

Well I’m not going to let her know, I have no idea who her uncle is. But I do have Boomer and he’s pretty good for tracking if she needs the help. 

There’s some bows laying on the side of the mill, so I grab one, nicer than the one I have, and some arrows. Then follow her out into the woods. 

We pass a mangled body, burnt to a crisp. 

“See that, that’s his calling card. Innocent people burned alive…” Her voice is raspy and I wonder if he tried to burn her too, and why none of this was reported to the sheriff’s office if it’d been going on for so long. 

As we head up the hill, Jess starts talking again. Explaining how Jacob’s region of the cult works, “Goddamned cult’s grabbing anyone. They’ll grab you from your home, the bar, even church… don’t matter where you are. Then they slot ya into one of two categories. Weak or strong. See, Jacob’s buildin’ an army, and anyone who can’t —or won’t— fight for him winds up dead,” oh this is is even worse than I thought, “ “Culling the Herd” he falls it… wholesale slaughter of innocent people. Nobody believed it was happening because nobody wanted to believe…”

Well that explains why it wasn’t reported but does nothing for my rising anxiety about meeting my inevitable meeting with him. 

“Fuck.” I breath and Jess nods as we continue up. 

We pause to kill some cultist by the top of the hill, and look for signs of the Cook. 

“And then there’s the one we’re after… the Cook. He’s one of Jacob’s favorites. The one who leads his “purging”. The Cook’s bought into all of Jacob’s bullshit. But this motherfucker’s gonna to get what he deserves…”

We continue in silence after that. I hope my soulmate is okay with my wholesale murder of his favorite murder puppet, because it sure sounds like this fucker has it coming. 

“Alright, we’re almost there.”

We maneuver to the edge of some larger rocks, overlooking a clearing full of cultists. 

“Let’s have a look— careful, stay low.” 

I nod. 

“Shit,” Jess sounds pissed, “ I don’t see him anywhere. Got some people locked up though. Treats people like fuckin’ animals— keeping ‘em in cages… ok, let’s do this. But keep your head down—- if they spot us, the hostages are dead.”

I’m glad I grabbed the bow then. It’s easy for the two of us to kill the few men the Cook left behind with his victims. 

When they’re all free one looks at us, eyes wide and voice shaking. “ There’s more of us! Th-The Cook… he took them up to the mountain. Oh God…”

“Stay safe. The lumber mill is full of resistance if you head down.” I try to smile at them, so scared but free. 

“Let’s go.” Jess and I nod at each other and continue to head up the mountain. 

“You wanna know why the call him the Cook?” 

No. No, I don’t. But I don’t say anything and Jess continues, but doesn’t look at me as we continue our trek. 

“Couple years back, Jacob sent one of his guys out to round up this family— parents and kids. First thing he did was starve ‘em. Gave ‘em nothin’, not even a drop of water.” 

I do not like where this is going. 

“After three days they got so thirsty they had to drink their own piss. But the kids didn’t want to do it. So the parents forced it down their throats… kids puked it right back up. The Cook didn’t like that. So he went and strung up the parents up on posts under the hot sun.” Jess pauses her story and I’m grateful for the respite. I  _ really  _ don’t like where this is headed and my apprehension leaks through my bonds. Joseph and Faith try and send back reassurance, which is nice but doesn’t really help. It’s soothing to be offered comfort though. A rare and bright thing. I run my hand through Boomer’s fur as we run and let that anchor me to the now. I need to focus. 

We reach the quarry to find more cultist and hostages, but no Cook. It plays out much like the first encounter. 

This time though one of the hostages, a woman, rushes to us as we free her. 

“Please! You gotta help me. The Cook, he took my husband to The Pit! He’s going to burn him alive!” She’s frantic and Jess and I don’t even bother to look at each other as we rush off. Hopefully we make it in time. 

Up the mountain we head and Jess decides to finish her story. It is exactly and graphic and horrible as I expected. Though the descriptions are personal, I sure hope she’s not sharing memories. There is no question in my mind, the Cook is going to die. I’m glad Boomer can’t understand what’s being said, somethings are too sensitive for a dog’s ears. 

As we get closer, we can hear screaming. Panic and terror and agony fill the air. 

“Let’s take a better look.” 

We get to a decent point and look into The Pit. 

“The weak are impure and unworthy!” The Cook’s voice echos on my radio and he sounds exactly as manic and awful as I expected. 

“There He is. The fuckin’ Cook…” Jess growls. 

We head down and into The Pit, just as the Cook begins to light someone ablaze. 

“Burn! Burn with the light of our father!” He screams as we begin to shoot. 

The man strapped to the pole is badly burned with a bag over his face, but alive. I help him down and radio the Barron Lumber Mill for help. Hopefully there’s a doctor down there for him. 

Turning, I head to Jess. 

“I feel numb… Dutch was right… Cook’s dead, and I don’t feel anything. All I ever wanted was to find this guy… and now… I don’t… I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

I remember that feeling from my parents’ death. Gently, I lay my hand on her shoulder, “You go out and live. You find some other purpose or ideal you want to live by, and go keep going. You don’t have to feel anything right now, it’s okay to be numb, but don’t forget, he’s dead. He can’t hurt _ anyone _ ever again.” I smile at her. 

“Uh… you need someone to watch your back, call me.” 

I nod and we go to help the burned man to the Lumber Mill. 

When we split up, my radio comes to life and a new voice speaks. 

“There is someone out there, pretending to be a soldier. They are killing our brothers and sisters and putting this Project in jeopardy. I want this coward to know they  _ have  _ my attention. My hunters are coming for you. There’s  _ nowhere _ you can run.”

That must be Jacob. He as a beautiful soft voice and I am so scared. Running a hand through Boomer’s fur, I start to try and run anyways. No one said I had to make it easy for them. 

But the hunters are smart. They stay far enough away that Boomer doesn’t bark to alert me and as a Bliss-tipped arrow lands in my thigh, and my vision goes blurry, I curse. 

When I wake up, I’m strapped to a chair and there’s Staci by my side. It’s dark. 

“You shouldn’t have come for me, you should have run.”

“ _ Bullshit. _ ” My response is barely higher than a whisper but I know Staci hears it. He gives me a frighten smile and rushes off into the darkness, drawn by something or someone I cannot see. 

I shake my head and look around to room I’m trapped in, looking for clues to figure out what in the world is going on. 

It’s dim, until the click of a projector sounds and a grotesque deer skeleton appears. Staci stands, almost cowering, to one side of the screen as Jacob Seed walks foreword to the screen. 

There are a two others strapped in like me, I don’t know either of them. 

I try to catch Staci’s eye and get him to come closer again. He shakes his head “no” at me, almost frantic, as Jacob begins to speak. 

“The world has grown weak, soft. We have forgotten what is it’s to be strong,” he turns from the screen to face the three of us, “we let the weak dictate to the powerful and we are shocked to find ourselves adrift.”

He ignores the other two and walks towards me, behind him the screen is a montage of animal corpses interspersed with pictures of wolves. 

“Now,” He leans in, hands of either side of my chair, and even trapped, I do my best to lean back, “the Collapse is upon us. In this time, the lives of the few outweigh the lives of the many.”

Jacob pauses his speech to carcass my cheek. Our soulbond snaps into place. That thin thread that ties me to him and two of his siblings so far. I can feel his amusement and pleasure through it. Nothing shows in his face as he turn to grab a small box on the table beside me. Along with Joseph’s satisfaction and Faith’s joy at our connection. 

“We will cull the herd. We will do what needs to be done.” Jacob’s voice drawls, and he opens the box to wind a tiny mechanism inside. 

He faces me and an old song begins to play as my vision warps. He smiles and then there’s nothing. 

When I open my eyes again, the room is red tinted. I can hear Jacob purring in my ear to “Cull the herd.” And I grab the handgun on the table in front of me to shoot back at the ghostly men shooting at me. 

Jacob’s voice stays with me as I navigate this fever dream. Each time I kill all the men in an area before moving in, he praises me, and I don’t know how I feel. It’s nice but this is not a nice time he’s forcing me into. 

“Excellent.” 

The landscape is twisted and floating and feels real but also like a nightmare. 

“Well done.”

Eventually I make to the end and shoot the last man. 

“Good job, honey.” Jacob croons once more in my ear and then everything fades to black again. At least the infernal music is gone. 

When I wake up this time, the room I was trapped in is trashed. I’m lying on my side in a cold puddle of water, struggling not to shiver. The other two men are dead. Two new men walk through the door. Both of them are clad in green. But my vision is blurry and I can still hear that song, softly, in the background. 

One of them speaks, his voice sounds very far away. “What a mess. Wheaty, check those chairs.”

Another voice comes in. “Jesus, what a smell.”

The first responds, “been stewin’ in their own filth for days, Walker, get some windows open.”

The unseen voice stammers “Y-y-yessir .” And I can hear footsteps fading. 

The one I think is Wheaty kneels in front of me to look at one of the dead men. Less than a foot from my face. Blood is leaking from his eye and nose. I wonder if it’s on my face too. 

“Someone shut that music off.” First voice orders and someone else walks in front of my face and the corpses as Wheaty turns it to look away from me. 

“Christ… it’s Sully. When did they get him?” He stands and backs up to look at first voice. “Why are we even bothering with this? They’re all dead.”

I’m not dead, I just can’t move. Trapped in my own body. 

First voice looks up from the other man’s body to scowl at Wheaty. “Check ‘em anyways.” I like first voice with this weird long hair and beard. 

“Why am I always stuck in corpse duty—” he walks towards me and lifts me and the chair I’m still stuck in. I blink at him, “Holy Shit!” He drops me and my chair and stumbles back. I hit the ground with a tiny bounce. “Oh fuck.”

First voice walks towards me and speaks, “Live one! Walker go get the truck!” 

“Y-y-yessir!” 

Wheaty bends down to meet my eyes, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry…” 

It didn’t hurt, I’m not really feeling much of anything right now, but sir -first voice- shoves him over before I can try to talk. 

“Gimme a hand, kid.” They lift me up and Sir pulls out a knife and starts cutting my bonds. 

“Eli, is this-?”

“Yep.”

“What the fuck is the deputy doing here?” Wheaty asks first voice, sir, Eli. 

Well I am most certainly regretting meeting my newest soulmate. But I can’t feel my bonds, they’re dulled by whatever is coursing through my veins. 

“Jacob took a shine to ‘em same as us.” Eli answers for me. 

Which I suppose is accurate is not entirely. 

He meets my eyes, “You’re going to be ok, Hero. Whitetail’s gotcha now.”

Well this is certainly not what I was expecting when I came here, but it’s the best possible outcome from what’s happened. 

I feel dizzy and gross as they finish freeing me from the chair and help me stand. It’s harder to focus now. 

“We’re brining ‘em back to the Wolf’s Den?” Wheaty sounds concerned.

“Where else?” Eli asks. 

I hope Boomer, where ever he is, is alright. 

I don’t hear Wheaty’s response as I fight with consciousness and drift between it and what could almost be called sleep. 

Finally I can feel all three of my bonds swell with emotions I can’t identify. Relief fills me. And I lose my grip on my fight. I don’t dream. 

**.**

**It’s hard, letting her ‘escape’ from him. She’s his soulmate, the last one left unbonded, and all Jacob wanted to do is complete the bond. But Joseph said to let her free. But the Whitetails will care for her and she’ll lead him right to their den. Knowingly or not.**

**And afterwards he’ll let her find John, and bond with him before trying to complete his own. Something the voice had shown him; that with her inevitable meeting with his youngest brother, she’d be theirs. It’s hard. But he has something, someone, she wants. Peaches.**

**He’d noticed how she looked at the other deputy, when he’d had her in his grasp. How she’d watched with careful eyes and murmured something to him when she thought he hadn’t been paying attention. No matter, he’d get what Peaches told her out of him, along with her response, one way or another.**

**It was almost too easy to condition the man, a perfect assistant in the making. Staci Pratt was beginning to believe and that would lead to his inevitable downfall. But first, he would tell Jacob everything he knew about the Junior Deputy. Jacob’s wayward soulmate.**

**After all, even with her running away, she was only delaying the inevitable.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this was a doozy, but ta da! what do y'all think of Jacob? Whose ready to meet John?  
> also i have a sketch of what i think the dep's tattoo looks like if anyone wants to see it here https://bloodshedandbeasts.tumblr.com/post/176141405726/sunshine-tattoo-idea-for-the-dep 
> 
> thank you everyone for your comments! they really inspire me to write


	6. Out of the Wolf's Den

Your soul has fallen to bits and pieces. Good. Rearrange them to suit yourself - Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf

**.**

I don’t feel like much of a hero when I wake up again. My visions blurry, but the boy with braids is in front of me holding something. 

“You’re going to be okay, drink this.” His voice is soft, and while my vision looks like an impressionist painting, he’s careful as he lifts me up so I can drink safely and lowers the container to help me drink. The water is blessing on my sore throat. 

It takes a few more seconds for my vision to clear up; but as it does, a woman dressed in a green sweater stalks in. 

She takes in look at me then to someone off to the side, out of my site. “Are you out of your fucking mind?” She snaps at them. 

Her voice seems to echo in the room and I turn my head slowly as she stalks over to the man, Eli, fists clenched. 

He turns from whatever he was working on at the counter over there to respond to her anger. “Now hold on. Wheaty and I agreed—”

Wheaty! That’s the helpful boy’s name! I’m glad I don’t have to ask. 

As soon as that leaves Eli’s mouth, the woman turns on Wheaty. “Oh you agree?”

I can see him holding his hands out as if to placate her, “Woah, woah, woah. I was at best an impartial observer.”

I can feel my lips twitch up at that. Everything in my memory is still a bit hazy, but I still feel safe here. And through my newest bond, Jacob doesn’t seem worried. 

The woman walks forward, right in front of where I lay propped up on a couch, “This is stupid and this is dangerous. You both know better.” She sounds scared. I can understand that. I’d be more afraid of what Jacob Seed could have done to me, with what I know of him, if not for the unfortunate soul bond that ties us together. 

“What was I supposed to do?” Eli walks past her, towards me. 

“Leave them to die.” Her arms spread out like that’s the most obvious thing in the world. I won’t have died. 

I’d bet Jacob was relying on them coming. If not, he would have sooner or later. I can feel his smug satisfaction at being right in my bones. 

But I don’t blame her. What he’s capable of doing to someone mind, the fact he can twist it and hide that until it’s too late, that’s scary. Dangerous. I shouldn’t be here. 

“Tammy.” Wheaty grows and walks behind her. 

She ignores him and focuses on Eli. 

“She’s been in that room for God knows how long. I’ve seen what it does to people. You haven’t.  You can’t trust this one.”

I want to tell her I could tell how long I’ve been in the room. But my throat is too dry to talk, I feel like I’m out of my body. Haven’t felt that way in years, not since before my parents died. 

Eli turns and looks at her, “That’s what everyone said about you! But luckily, I didn’t listen. This is not up for discussion. We need ‘em. That’s all there is to it. Understand?”

Tammy is silent.  But as she turns to leave, I manage to croak out, “Three.”

“What?” Everyone in the room turns to look at me. 

“Three days.” 

Tammy looks and me again and nods. Then she leaves the room. 

Eli walks around to the front of the couch, too close for comfort. “I meant what I said. We need you.”

I give him a small nod of understanding. Too tired to try to talk again. 

“Let’s get you some more rest.” He helps lower me back down and my eyes drift shut. Once more, I don’t dream. 

.

When I wake up again, there’s a new face in the room in front of me as I sit up. A man with a gun strapped to his back and a sideways American flag on his shirt. 

“Sup girl.” I turn and Wheaty is behind me. 

The room is better lit this time and obnoxious rock is playing on a radio. 

“You look like shit.” He grins at me as I manage to stand. I feel gross and sweaty. My skin is too tight. 

I stick my tongue out at him in response. 

The other man speaks. “Whoa, you’re awake. Eli wants a quick word w-w-with ya.”

I remember that voice from before. Nice to have a face to put to it. 

I follow Wheaty out and through the winding corridors of the bunker we’re in. I can feel Jacob’s smug pride through our bond, and smother it best I can. He doesn’t get to use me to find them. 

We get to Eli in a smaller office. He’s at a desk, working on something, but glances up and grins when he sees us walk in. 

“Glad you’re awake, Dep.” He says. 

“Glad to be awake.” My voice is hoarse, my throat feels raw. Wheaty pats me on the shoulder and leaves. 

“Ready to help kick Jacob Seed off this mountain?”

“Sure.” I don’t know how effective I’ll actually be, but helping them to spite Jacob after what he did to me and to Staci? I am down for it. But first I need to find somewhere safe to rest, I can feel the sickness settling into my bones. 

“Good. Here’s some things you can do to help the Whitetails.” And he hands me a sheet of paper from his desk. 

I glance at it and nod at him. “Seems easy enough. See you later.” And I go to gather supplies for my trip. I want to get to get off this mountain and away from Jacob’s territory. 

When I finally manage to leave the Wolf Den, I can feel the fever setting in. My skin is hot and nausea grows beneath my skin. But I don’t want to stay with the Whitetail Resistance any longer than I have to. I can feel their hopes and expectations linger on me in their stares. Their hatred for Jacob and the rest of the Seeds by proxy is understandable, but I can’t help them fulfill their dreams of his death. I’m too selfish, I want to live.

But in the same vein, I don’t want Jacob to swoop in and annihilate them all. Wheaty is kind. Eli is trying to do his best to save them all. Even Tammy doesn’t deserve that fate. And even if he doesn’t kill them, his conditioning is something even worse. 

As I leave, I tighten my grip on my soulbonds, smother their ability to find me. And then I wander into the mountains, if I don’t know where I am, then Jacob can’t get me to tell him later. 

I wonder where Boomer has gotten to. Maybe back to Nick and Kim’s? Or to Rae Rae’s? Either way, I hope he’s somewhere safe. 

Don’t have a radio on me, mine broke when Jacob’s team captured me. Forgot to ask for another, but oh well. 

I can make my way back to Holland Valley and to the Rye’s. They’ll help me. A safe place to rest and recover, away from all the expectations that everyone else I meet seems to hold. 

Travel is slow going, my eyes are growing hazy, the fever has set in. I’m too hot, my jacket feels stuck to my skin as I peel it off and tie it around my waist. My bare shoulders feel nicer with the light breeze on them. 

By evening I’ve gotten most of the way there. I don’t feel well enough to drive, my awareness mostly fading as my breathing grows harder. My eyes keep slipping closed. I need to find somewhere to sleep. A nearby truck offers solstice. It’s unlocked and abandoned by the side of the road. 

I open the door and crawl in. It’s cramped, but warmer than the outside, and dry. My eyes slip closed once more and I fall into an upset slumber. 

**.**

When his men first radio that they’ve found the deputy, he can’t quite believe it. She’s been pretty elusive in his territory. Seemingly preferring his sibling’s. 

He heads out immediately. He’s going to bring her back, bring her home. His probable soulmate. This troublemaker. 

When he reaches the point, his men direct him to an abandoned truck. The deputy still deep asleep inside.

John grins and opens the door.  The Deputy is laying on her side, breathing slightly labored. 

She shifts slightly turning her back to him.

And on the Deputy’s back, around the edges of her shirt, a familiar tattoo peaks out. 

_ The summer their parents died, John sat down and asked Sunshine if she could get a tattoo, what it would be. He’d already gotten a machine and been practicing.  _

_ “Sunflowers.” She didn’t even turn to look at him from her perch on his windowsill. Looking out at the evening sky setting on the city below them.  _

_ “Why?” _

_ “Did you know they used sunflowers to help clean up after Chernobyl? They soak up all the arsenic and uranium in the soil so that other things can flourish there. Plus in it’s supposed to mean good luck and lasting happiness in some cultures.” She turned and smiled at him, “why wouldn’t I want something like that on me? I don’t need the toxicity of my parents to stay in my bones. Metastasize into who I am. They’re dead. I’m finally going to be free of them.” _

_ “If you want, I’ll design one for you.”  _

_ She grinned, “I’d love that. You sure you’ll have time though? What with all your lawyer homework?” _

_ “For you? Of course.” _

He’s given her that tattoo shortly after he graduated. Half a year before her school took her away and then his brothers showed up. She’d taken good care of it. 

John can’t contain his smile. Finally his Sunshine has made her way back to him. It’s God’s will, that he finds her in this time of need. His childhood friend, his siblings’  _ (and his likely)  _ soulmate. 

He picks her up and turns to carry her back to his car for transport. Her skin is hot against him, and slick with sweat. As his loyal drive them back to his ranch, he radios for a doctor and informs Joseph what’s happened. 

“I’ll let you know when she wakes up. She’ll be safe at the ranch.”

“Keep her safe John, and she will walk through Eden’s Gate with us. It’s God’s will that’s she’s there with you.”

“Thank you, Joseph.”

Back at his ranch, he places his Sunshine gently into his bed. She looks beautiful against his silk sheets. Sprawled out, he can almost imagine how she’ll look after a night of pleasure. Hair spread against his pillows and face flushed for reasons other than illness. Soon. 

He hovers when the doctor finally arrives. She doesn’t wake up throughout the examination. 

“She’ll be fine. Bit of a fever, seems like a nasty cold. Keep an eye on her though, don’t want it turning into pneumonia.” The doctor gives him a list of things to do and John nods. 

This, this he can do for her. To return the favor of all the times she did the same when they were younger; when he was addicted to sex and drugs. 

He can’t wait until she’s conscious again and they can form their bond. Confirm they’re soulmates. That she’s  _ his.  _

John settles in to wait. 

**.**

When I wake up again, I’m not in the truck anymore. I’m in a bed full of cloud-soft pillows and wonderful fluffy blankets. It feels like a dream. The room I’m in is painted my favorite shade of blue with flowers painted around the door. 

Fuzzy memories of someone giving me water, and watching over me hum in the forefront of my mind. Flashes of blue eyes and soft hands swirl through them. 

I wonder who found me out there?

My soulbonds hum with contentment and peace. Wherever I am, it’s not somewhere they’re worried about. 

On the bedside table, there’s a glass of water. My body is slow and sluggish when I try to reach over and grab it, so I flop back into the bed and wait. 

The room smells safe, I can’t put what the scent is into words, not exactly, but it lingers in my head. Bringing back memories of when I was younger, but happy. Slowly my eyes drift back shut and I drift back to sleep. 

When I wake up again, there’s a figure sitting by the bed. It takes my eyes a few moments to adjust and recognize John sans his signature coat. 

“Good morning, or is it afternoon?” My voice is a little softer than normal, but it’s loud enough that John turns to look at me. 

“I’m glad to see you’re awake. Had me worried for a second there, Sunshine.”

“Sorry ‘bout that. Maybe next time I run into your brother, he won’t leave me out in the cold for who knows how long.” I roll my eyes at him. 

John laughs. It’s short but nice. Then he holds his hand out to me, a choice. 

“Come on Sunshine, just say yes.”

“Almost feels inevitable, doesn’t it?” I don’t make any move to grab his hand. But unlike his siblings, John seems unwilling to make the first move. 

“I’m not going to force you. It has to be your choice, come walk through Eden’s Gate with me.” His blue, blue, eyes seem to stare straight into the deepest parts of me. He’s been there for the worst parts of my life. The only person other person who knows the truth of my parents’ (and his) deaths. 

I reach out and take his hand. The bond snaps into place. Not a single thread like the others, but a full blossoming bond. Complete. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i took 5ever, i wanted everyone to sound right. what do you guys think? any guesses for whats coming next?  
> thank you all for your kudos and reviews, they fuel my desire to write!


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